musingsofmruga.com

Hello Readers,

I hope you have read my earlier posts about the four “A” s of image management.

If you haven’t, you can read about it here.

https://musingsofmruga.com/2019/03/21/31/

https://musingsofmruga.com/2019/04/19/good-things-take-time/

https://musingsofmruga.com/2019/05/01/is-it-appropriate/

 Today, lets talk about the third A.

AUTHENTIC

In this write-up, I would like to share about Authentic personal style.

Developing an authentic personal style is not as easy. It takes time and keen observation. It is not something that you can buy off the shelf, like a jar of lotion, and apply it all over your body.

Everyone has a potential for creating a personal look, you just have to uncover yours and coax it out of hiding.

The easy part is that we all know and are aware of what we like and what we don’t like. Whether it is on your self, on others, or in the stores. So how do we proceed from here?

Here are a few quick steps to help you find your own personal style.

1. Start by taking a good inventory of your clothes. You will discover a certain trend. Maybe you are gravitating towards a certain color that keeps repeating itself in your wardrobe. Or it could be a certain print or it could even be a certain fabric. Figure out what you have, what you love and define it. Give it an adjective. For example, you may discover that you have a liking for rich , luxuriant fabrics and textures like silk, satin and velvet.
2. Once you have identified your favorite pieces, try to create different looks with those pieces. Wear them and observe how you feel when you are wearing it. For example, your favourite shirt that you usually wear with jeans, may look nice with your favourite Patiala salwar or even a mirror work ghagra. Try it out. There are no fixed rules about mixing clothes. Have fun as you do that. The most important thing is that you should feel good when you wear it.
3. Next, see if you can achieve at least three different looks with your favorite staple pieces. Try wearing your favourite shirt under a dress or even with a saree, along with your favourite belt! Of course, don’t go overboard as you try out new looks with your old clothes. Start by making small changes, very slowly, moving ahead as you get more and more confident about experimenting with your wardrobe.
4. You could try wearing a different accessory, a different colour combination or even a new look by layering different pieces together. You will be surprised to discover how an accessory can dramatically change the look of an outfit.
5. Try editing rather than adding to your collection. You maybe killing your personal style by wearing all accessories at the same time. Less is really more. You also don’t have to match everything. Just because your outfit is red, does not mean that earrings, bracelet, sandals and bag also have to be red.

As you go through this experience, there will be a ‘eureka moment’ when you feel that surge of confidence and you say to yourself ‘yes, this works’.

You will know that you have achieved some sense of personal style when you forget what you are wearing, you feel comfortable and confident and even the people around you respond to you in a desirable and an approved manner.

Authentic personal style, according to me, is taking a piece of clothing and making it your own. It is about seeing a piece of clothing and styling it in your own unique way. For some it could be how a belt is tied or looped, for others it could be wearing a watch on a particular hand in a particular way.

Have you noticed how each woman has her own way of draping a dupatta or a pallu. Each woman ‘owns’ her dupatta or  pallu and styles it in her own way.

Your personal style reveals itself in many ways and not just your clothes.

It could be revealed from your display picture, your hobbies, your email id, your handshake, your home or even the gifts that you choose for your friends.

Here are a few questions that will help you reflect. Your answers can be many but they  have to be in a single word only.

1. How do you want to feel at a social situation? (eg chic, calm, sophisticated, friendly..)
2. What personality traits best define you? (eg cheerful, organized, poised, confident, shy……….)
3. What values determine your purchase of clothing? ( e.g. price, fashion, color, simplicity, sexiness………………)
4. What type of clothing are you most comfortable in?(e.g. soft, modest, trendy, athletic, feminine…………………)
5. How do you like your clothes to fit? (e.g. tight, loose, free flowing …?)

You will find your personal style hidden within the answers. It will be truly authentic and a true reflection of your inner image.

Now pause for a moment and think about the wardrobe choices that you have made in your existing collection of clothes and accessories.

Are they in line with the image that you want to project?

Until next week, stay happy, healthy and positive!

Lets talk about the second ‘A’ of image management.

Have you ever turned up at an event and realized that you are underdressed? Or sometimes you could arrive at an event and realize that you are overdressed.

And then there are times that the weather catches you off guard and you are not appropriately dressed for it.

How often has it happened that you have received an invitation that specifies dress code, that you cannot crack?? (I guess that’s why it is called as a ‘code’.)

For example, how does one interpret a dress code specified as ‘Evening wear’, or ‘Formal wear’ or ‘casual wear’. There have been times when a friend has called me up to ask ‘what does ‘elegantly casual’ mean?? Does it mean that I can wear flip-flops with my evening gown??

A ‘dress code’ that is specified on an invite, is expected to make life easier for the invitees by giving them a clue about what to expect. However, the reality can be exactly opposite in a way that the ‘dress code’ that is specified leaves the invitees completely flummoxed!

Depending on who is reading the code, there can be many ways of interpreting it.

For example, casual wear could mean anything from shorts and singlet to summery dresses and flip-flops. Whereas formal wear could mean a long evening gown, a three piece suit or even a sari.

Whatever be the interpretation, we all want to feel ‘appropriate’ at an event or at a given situation.

That’s the second A of image management “APPROPRIATE”.

Most people are unable to accept the idea of appropriateness because it has some sort of restrictive feel to it. It is as if we are like kids again when our parents would say ‘yes’ or ‘ no’ without giving a reason or a context.

What is appropriate at home may not be appropriate at work. What is right at the beach is wrong at the office. Sometimes it seems like common sense, sometimes its plain confusing.

Your clothing, body language and etiquette must be appropriate not only to the role that you are playing and the goal that you want to achieve, but also to the occasion.

To arrive upon a decision we have to get more information. Information like Whether the event is indoors or outdoors (weather), who will be present ( social reasons), what is the purpose of this event (is it for networking, or for meeting prospective bride  or groom , or is it wanting to be more popular) and whether there is some goal that has to be achieved at this event ( eg job interview)

To me, appropriateness is all about knowing the context. These contexts and needs differ in priority according to the stage of life that we are in.

For example, at a wedding party, for the young girls, fashion would be of highest priority sometimes at the cost of comfort. (Noticed girls shivering in their fashionable backless cholis?)

This will be exactly the opposite for the senior members of the family, where comfort will be top priority and fashion would probably be of zero importance.

A quick checklist will help you to be appropriate at an event.

• Check your calendar and consider what to wear in advance
• What is the location of the event and its culture
• What is the occasion
• Who will I be with? Who will see me?
• What do I want to accomplish at this event?
• What statement or message do I want my clothes to make?
• What are the clothes that will communicate this message?

Your clothes, behavior, body language and comfort will be based on the answers that you receive to the above questions.

Take a trial of the outfit beforehand to avoid wardrobe malfunctions.

Quiz yourself in this manner whenever you wish to influence the opinions and actions of others.

To me, appropriateness is all about being right in the given context.

Have you ever wondered how appropriate your clothes are? Are you willing to take appropriateness from the choice of your hair clip to the choice of your socks? Or will you stop at just your clothes?

I hope this post has made you think about your choices in clothes, accessories and make up. Hopefully, it will help your image to be appropriate in any given situation and event.

Remember, we are all masterpieces in progress and you are your own artist.

Until next week, Stay happy, healthy and positive.

 

 

Hello Dear friends,

Thank you for the positive feedback that I have received from you. I am indeed humbled and overwhelmed. It’s a great feeling and the credit goes to all of you.

I hope that you have begun the journey towards creating the best version of yourself. This journey is ongoing and constant.

Do incorporate the 4 tips that I have suggested, in a way that they will become a part of your lifestyle so effortlessly that you will start doing it subconsciously .

Our image can have a significant impact on our happiness by affecting the development of our personal, social and professional relationships.

Each one of us is projecting an image, either consciously or unconsciously. It is a part of who you are.

This image of yours, that the world sees, is a physical representation of your thoughts, your attitudes and your beliefs.

The world looks at you and decides who you are and what you are about. They go by the visual clues that they receive and decide who you are on the inside, your values, your interests, your uniqueness and sometimes, even your goals.

It is a reflection of your mind, body and spirit.

This is how your image is working ‘inside out’.

Now here’s the thing, some of us have an intuitive gift of presenting themselves positively. Others simply don’t have that gift.

But the good news is that this skill can be learnt and practiced till it becomes second nature.

So while you have begun on the mission of building a positive self-image, you can simultaneously start on working on your image from ‘outside in’.

In other words, we can now embark on the task of our own image management.

Amongst many meanings that the word ‘management’ has, in this particular context, the word ‘management’ means “the activity of controlling, using or dealing with resources in a way that is effective”

In managing our Image, we have the following resources

1. Clothes
2. Etiquette and body language
3. Grooming practices
4. Communication (verbal and vocal)

One has to realise these resources are the same for each one of us, and each one uses these as per their discretion.

However, the skill lies in managing these resources in a skilful and scientific manner, in order to achieve the optimum results.

Some people feel that this can be achieved by going to a beauty salon or going for a makeover, or attending a ‘personality development workshop’ or buying expensive branded clothes or even as extreme as opting for a plastic surgery.

The reality is that image management is both an art and a science. It can be learnt and practiced.Thankfully , it is not ‘rocket science’ and its principles are fairly easy to understand and follow.

Once we learn the basic principles, it becomes very easy to practice this art, thus taking us closer to the goal of creating a positive and a genuine image of ourselves.

In my poem, one of my earlier posts, (https://musingsofmruga.com/2019/03/11/26/) I have mentioned the four A’s of image management.

Any time you feel confused and unsure about whether you are projecting a good image, refer to these four A’s

1. Attractive
2. Authentic
3. Appropriate
4. Affordable

Observe and analyze each of the four resources and ask yourself

Is it attractive?

Is it authentic?

Is it appropriate?

Is it Affordable?

Be honest with your answers and you will see the solution as bright as sunshine before your eyes.

You will not need a ‘consultant’ to give you these answers.

Let’s understand each of these four A’s.

Attractive

The word attractive, when used in reference to a person’s appearance, is often presumed as ‘beautiful’. However, attractive does not necessarily mean beautiful. It means that when you look at something (in this case, a person’s image), one should  get a feeling of pleasantness and balance .

The need to look attractive and presentable is universal to each one of us, I am sure few will deny this fact.

Don’t we check ourselves in a mirror every time we happen to pass one? And we do that most unconsciously! We check if our hair is in place, our clothes are in order, we check whether we have something stuck in our teeth and sometimes we simply do a quick visual check of our entire look!

So how do we ensure that we look attractive all the time?

Like I said, image management is both an art and a science.

Science and logic will help you understand your body shape, the color of your eyes, hair, skin. It will help you understand your genetic gifts and limitations. Science will tell you how to eat healthy, how to exercise and stay fit.

Knowledge of the arts will help you to work with these constraints and manage the resources in a way that you can project an attractive image.

Begin by taking a close look at your body shape. Imagine an imaginary line being drawn along your silhouette. It will form a certain geometric shape.

Take a good look at this shape. This is your resource.

Broadly, body shape is classifies into these shapes.

Triangular

Inverted triangle

Rectangular

Tubular

Diamond

Hourglass

Rounded

and last but surely not the least the IDEAL figure!

(Please note, there is no ‘perfect ‘ figure! It is a myth.)

Fortunately, very very few of us are blessed with an ideal figure.

For the others, well, there is good news. They can work with the given body shape and work on ways to make it attractive by using certain techniques.

All the seven body shapes can be made more attractive in a way that the eye perceives that shape to be an IDEAL shape.

For this we use simple techniques of

• Repeating and reinforcing (the positive features of your body/ face shape)
• Countering ( taking the eye away from the features that you do not want people to focus on )

Artists, architects and sculptors, have used principles of design to create objects that are attractive and pleasing to the eye.

In the same way, we can use color, line, texture and correct proportions in the choice of clothes so that the silhouette of the clothes becomes more dominant, and the body silhouette becomes subordinate.

So once you have identified the silhouette of yior body and face, what next?

You could seek help of a a good fashion designer and a stylist to help you to pick the right kind of clothes that look flattering on you every single time you wear them.

Is there someone , a celebrity perhaps, whose style sense you admire? Observe him / her closely and the way they dress up. Notice how they stick to certain styles, colours and silhouettes that makes them look attractive at all times. Of course , people who are in the media have the luxury of being groomed by a battery of stylists and beauty experts. Don’t let that intimidate you. You can create your own style and look. You can do it the old fashioned way by creating a look book or a diary. Or you can take help of the internet! There are millions of articles that recommend clothes and looks based on your body shape.

A keen sense of observation, combined with acceptance of your self and your body, can help you create your own unique style.

That’s exactly why certain people always seem to be apprpriately dressed and groomed anytime you see them. Be it at work, at a party, at the gym or even if you meet them on the street buying vegetables!!

An awareness of ones body shape; can also help you to love your body and to look after it. Our bodies are amazing creations. We are stronger that we imagine. Good diet habits and daily exercise can improve your posture and self confidence, which in turn can make tremendous improvement in your appearance.

Similarly, take a good look at your skin,  your hair, and the shape of your face.

Do consult a dermatologist who can guide you on ways of looking after it. Avoid asking friends for advice on hair and skin care. Always consult an expert in the field.

I am not suggesting that everyone should use make up. It is a matter of personal choice.

However, if you do wish to or feel like using it, learn the skill from a professional . It is very empowering.

Make up is a tool , a  resource. Take help from a make up expert to help you choose the correct shades for make up. The sheer options that are available, are enough to make one feel intimidated. Make friends with make up.When used skillfully, it definitely helps to make a person look attractive.

Adopt correct skin care regime to keep your skin healthy and radiant.Because no amount of makeup can make an unhealthy face look attractive.

That said, a healthy and a glowing face, needs no make up to look attractive!

Just like a good artist uses colour, shading techniques , line , form and proportion to create a beautiful work of art, we can use the same principles to make our image attractive from within as well as from the outside.

Remember, you are a masterpiece in progress and, guess what,  you are your own artist .

Next week, I will share more about the second ‘A’

Till then, stay happy, healthy and positive.

 

 

P.s. Do share your feedback. Feel free to message me in case you want to discuss any specific element in detail. I would love to share my knowledge with you.

 

 

 

 

What do you see when you see yourself in the mirror? Do you see yourself as perfect? Beautiful? Good looking? Stunning? Drop dead gorgeous?

More often than not, the answer to this question will be am emphatic ‘Hell No!!’

In fact, it is virtually impossible to look at yourself without finding any faults in your own appearance.

How often do we say this to ourselves?

If only I were thinner….

If only I were fairer…..

If only I was taller…..

If only my nose was straighter……

If only my hair was thicker…….

We are almost never content with the image that we see in the mirror.

And that’s how the image cycle begins.

It starts from your own ‘self – image’.

Self – image is how you perceive yourself. It is a number of self impressions that have built up over a period of time. The process begins from the time you are born and continues over your lifetime.

What you see when you look at yourself in the mirror and how you picture yourself is your self-image.

This image can be both positive, giving that person confidence in their thoughts and actions, and as well as negative, making the person doubt ones own capabilities.

And that is the sad part about ones self image. One can almost never outperform that image.

So what exactly do YOU see in the mirror?

Do you value the person staring back at you from the mirror? Do you undervalue and underestimate this person?

It is vital that you raise the value of yourself because trust me, if you don’t , the world will never ever raise it for you.

How you see yourself, dictates the way you present yourself to the world. Which means, that it affects how you dress, how you behave and how you communicate through your body language.

The world sees this presentation of yourself, and responds to you, based on their perception of you.

Their reaction and response in turn either counters your self-image or reinforces it. And the cycle continues…

So you see, the process of ‘Image-making’ begins from YOU, it is inside out.

Now here comes most challenging part. How does one create a more positive, but a realistic self image ?

Just like all great journeys begin with the first small step, we can embark on this journey by taking small steps to become aware of our own self-image.

Let me share few tips for that are extremely simple and less intimidating. They will guide you to be more aware of your own thoughts and self-talk. A small step towards building a positive and a genuine self image.

1) Be grateful

For starters, begin your day with an acknowledgment of your blessings. Take a moment, a few seconds, to do this before you jump headlong into your hectic day. I like to call it a gratitude prayer. If you cannot think of how to word it, a simple ‘Thank you’ is enough. It’s easy and less intimidating. You can begin by thanking your body for being alive, for being able to see another sunrise, for being able to breathe, walk, eat, run…… simply be grateful that you are alive! Say thank you to your bed, for keeping you warm and cozy. Say thank you to your own self and give yourself a hug! Be creative with your thank you’s, make it fun!

 

2) Give yourself permission to love yourself.

Beginning from now, promise yourself that every time you look at yourself in the mirror you will ” look “at yourself carefully. I mean really LOOK at yourself. Observe as if you are seeing the person in the   mirror for the very first time. Be aware of how you talk to yourself. Make a tally of each positive and each negative thing that comes to your mind when you talk to that person in the mirror. Are you too critical of that person? Is there too much negative self talk happening in your head? Look into those eyes in the mirror and say “I love you”. It may seem weird initially. because it is harder that you think. Just imagine if YOU cannot love yourself unconditionally, how can you expect others to not judge you when they see you? Don’t be so hard on yourself!

 

3) Introduce one physical activity in your daily routine.

Adapt some form of exercise in your daily regime, preferably in the morning. Find an activity that you look forward to and make a routine out of it. For some, a morning run would be the choice, for others it could be yoga, while some may prefer walking. It really doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as you make it a habit.

 

4) Make a date with nature.

Find time to be with nature. Feel the grass beneath your feet, nurture a plant, look outside your window and admire the trees, clouds or birds. Nature is a great teacher. Remember, we are all apart of this tiny, beautiful blue planet that is spinning around in the galaxy. Admire and appreciate the grandeur of this universe that is supporting us. It helps to look at the bigger picture, gives certain calmness to the mind when we feel unsettled and bogged down with problems. Do try it.

While we start this journey from inside out, we can simultaneously start the journey from outside in.

The image that you will project as the outcome of these ongoing journeys, will be a true, positive and an absolutely genuine one of yourself.

More about this in my next write-up.

Till then, stay happy, healthy and positive!

 

P.S.

Its been a while since I wrote to you. There are so many things that I want share with you. The words are all there in my head but sometimes, life and priorities take over. Hence the delay in writing to you.

I hope you find these musings of mine helpful. I would love to know your feedback. Especially if you want to discuss a certain topic in detail.

Can’t wait to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

Never judge a book by its cover….this is the most misleading phrase that I have ever heard all my life. We have been taught never to judge people by appearances….but honestly, can we do that? Is it even possible?

We form our opinions and judgements based on the very little information that we receive when we see a persons appearance or his / her IMAGE.

IMAGE- this  word has many meanings.

A picture?

A photograph?

A Description?

A copy of a picture?

An idea?

A picture that is formed based on the description of a person or an idea?

Well, it is all of the above and more.

In this present context, the image that I am referring to is ‘YOU in the minds of OTHERS!’

Did you know that it takes less than 17 seconds after seeing someone, to form an impression about them in your mind?

This happens very instinctively, almost like a reflex action, on which we have zero control.

The reality is that we can never NOT judge!

In fact, 7% of our communication is verbal (words that we use, language and vocabulary), 38% is vocal (tone of our voice, pitch, pauses, emphasis etc) and a whopping 55% is visual (this includes our clothes, hair, make up and grooming).

We cannot deny the fact we cannot NOT communicate, even if we choose to keep our mouths shut.

We are constantly sending messages to the world and people form an impression about us, based on these messages or clues.

Now this ‘impression’ could be a positive one or a negative one. And the sad part is that people make certain crucial decisions based on this very little information that they receive about you.

Someone may be passed over for a promotion simply because he or she did not ‘LOOK ‘ the part. A casual or sloppy sense of clothing could be interpreted as being casual and sloppy at work. Reality about this person could be very different, but by then the decision has already been made.

More often, these negative first impressions are very difficult to erase and a lot of time is wasted in the getting to know the real person and his / her personality.

An example of this phenomenon can be seen in this following example.

Marriage is considered to be a union of mind and body.

It is thus considered normal and obvious that one would like to get to know a person very well before committing to this life changing decision.

How would you react if I told you that you will get only one opportunity to meet someone and in that one meeting you will HAVE to decide whether or not to marry that person.

Sounds ridiculous right?

But in India, it is a very popular custom. The parents of the prospective brides and grooms ‘arrange ‘ their meeting and a decision is usually taken at the end of the first meeting itself. Nowadays, the lucky few are ‘allowed’ to meet few more times before a decision is taken.

I would not like to go into a debate about the pros and cons of this ‘arranged marriages’ custom, but just imagine the impact of the first impression. It could make or break your life

As unfair as it may sound, a decision about you has already been made in the first 4 seconds. Further interactions will only reinforce that decision in maybe next 30 seconds.

Whether you believe in the power of first impressions or not, a well groomed, fit, confident and warm person definitely stands a better chance of making a positive impact.

What if you knew how to control these impressions in others minds.

That would be so empowering. Almost like a super power.

In my subsequent blogs, I will share some simple and useful tips on how to create a powerful image and first impression that is not only positive but also an authentic one.

I believe that Image has to be worked  from ‘outside- in’ as well as from ‘inside -out’.

Change is easier to understand and apply when it is more tangible and tactile. We feel immediate change in mood, body language and confidence when we wear flattering clothes, our hair is perfect and accessories are on point. But all this is instantaneous and hence ephemeral .  Thats one of the main reasons why ‘makeovers’ do not work.

How can we sustain this makeover or change?

The answer is, Only when we have a strong and positive self image.

An authentic image is made when change happens from within. It creates a sense of balance and acceptance and helps greatly in building a very positive self image.

So lets begin this journey. A journey that promises to be fun and full of discoveries about oneself.

Remember, we are all masterpieces in progress. Just a few finishing strokes are remaining.

Until next week….stay happy!

 

 

 

 

From fashion designer, to image consultant, to Internationally certified ‘Heal your life coach” (Based on the teachings of LOUISE HAY ), I have tried to encapsulate my journey in this short poem that I have written.

I will elaborate on the meaning of this poem on my consequent blogs.

Watch this space!

 

INSIDE OUT

They say “never judge a book by its cover”

I say……Don’t believe them EVER!

Few seconds, is all that it takes for them…

YOUR image , in THEIR minds………..they will either make or break!

They don’t have time to recognise the real YOU.

But, it is YOU who can control their impressions…….using these tips few.

Is my image ATTRACTIVE?

Is it AUTHENTIC?

Is it APPROPRIATE?

Is it AFFORDABLE?

If this confuses you or makes you stressed

Just relax, don’t fret.

BREATHE deeply

VISUALISE your goal

and AFFIRM for the best!

Tell yourself again and again

When things change INSIDE me,

the things change AROUND ME!

I am a masterpiece in process, I am going to be the best version of ME!

 

 

 

For the past three years, I have been practicing Aerial Yoga. It is a new form of exercise, in which we use a hammock to perform yoga asanas ( poses).

A hammock is a stretchy piece of fabric that seems very fragile, but it has amazing strength and flexibility. My relationship with the hammock was that of a love-hate one. I approached it with curiosity first…..wanted to do something different you see….jara hatke!

One month and few spells of giddiness later…., I dismissed it…saying it was just a new fad….and gave it up and went back to my traditional yoga practice which I was enjoying thoroughly.

My guru, Nital ma’am, coaxed me to give aerial yoga another shot. Just to please her, I re-enrolled….She had just one tip for me……Mruga, Trust the hammock…

I kept repeating this line in my head and got into the hammock and looked up…there on the giant mirror in front of me , were the bold letters, painted in red….TRUST THE HAMMOCK! They were there all along, but I had never noticed them.

Over the next sessions, urged by Nital ma’am, I learnt the process of letting go and trusting the hammock.

Gradually I learnt the technique of relaxing and letting go.

My body (and mind )opened up, my poses became more stable and my range improved.

Today, I look forward to my aerial yoga sessions with the same enthusiasm that I have for my traditional yoga work out.

Those words on the mirror have made a huge shift in my personal mindset.

I used to be skeptical of peoples’ abilities to do a job. I believed that they would do it best only if I supervised or I gave a million instructions.

The hammock has taught me to trust people. I no longer hover in the kitchen after I give the day’s  instructions to the new cook.

While buying vegetables,I no longer check each and every tomato that the sabjiwala is putting in my bag. A far cry from the old me who used to visually inspect every item of vegetable under a microscope before approving it worthy of entering my kitchen.

I just tell him. bhaiyya, you choose the best and give me. And he does!!

I am able to tell my amazing staff and team, that I know that they will do a great job.,

I can look into their eyes and say….I trust you with the responsibility that I have given you, truly….

The results are amazing. The person usually goes out of his or her way to do the job at hand even better than expected.

Putting ones trust in a person makes the person feel responsible for the faith and trust put in them. Not only that, they will do their best to retain the trust placed in them.

My parents and in-laws still don’t trust me with certain recipes or managing certain tasks. In their minds, probably I am still an immature, irresponsible child. (The fact that I will turn fifty this year does not matter to them at all.)

As parents, having mistrust in our own children and their abilities, is in our DNA. We find it hard to imagine, forget accepting the idea that our kids can be better than us.

Why is it so hard? How do we let go of this urge to control?

Trust the hammock I say.  Let go and hang free!

I find myself asking myself, will I, as a mother in law, be able to trust my daughter in law with the ‘keys” of the house ( metaphorically speaking of course).

Of course I will and I am sure that she will do a better job at it than me!

I was of the firm belief that any task is done best if you do it yourself. But now, I am able to delegate better. Of course I still follow-up, and cross check.

Now, that’s another tip I have learnt from the hammock. Trust but cross check…. trust the hammock, but first cross check if it has been anchored properly in the ceiling hook.

Trust people , the process and the situation…..but do cross check…..you don’t want to fall from the hammock….if you know what I mean!

So, trust me…this works….do try it out…cross check and let me know your experiences.